May 3, 2008
We learn our parenting skills from our parents, friends and neighbors. Our examples are often poor ones that damage us. We pass the damage along to our children and their children quite naturally and we effectively handicap our children.
We can’t teach them what we do not know and we know very little when we become parents. We have been taught to know only what professionals and authorities tell us. They are so often wrong about what they know, when we believe them, we accept their errors as truth. Then we are in error and we pass those errors on to our children, who believe them to be true when they become parents. To become good parents, we must know things on our own, beyond the shadow of a doubt.
We have had the ability to know since our infancy, but we are taught we cannot trust what we know. We must trust what authority tells us. By the time most of us become parents, we are no longer sure who or what to trust and we try to figure things out for ourselves, if we are even allowed the time to figure out anything beyond careers and paying bills.
At six years of age we have been taught lies about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Boogeyman, God, the Stork, the good policeman, the bad strangers and a host of traditional family lies. Adults excuse this by saying it is deceit as a fairy tale and there is no harm done. The child will learn that deception is just play acting for fun. It is true that by the time we become 10 or 12 years old, we will learn we have been deceived - lied to. This is an important message for us to learn. We cannot trust authority that will lie to us for their own amusement. This is a painful lesson. These people deceive us openly and then tell us they know what is best for us. We want to believe it but we know better. The rest of our education is designed to help us forget what we know and to “know” only what untrustworthy people teach us by their words and actions. By the time we become parents, our educations have successfully erased what we know and replaced it with what others want us to think and believe. Worst of all, we then think someone else’s beliefs belong to us. We will teach and defend those beliefs.
We have been programmed to believe lies of all kinds in order to be a certain kind of citizen. One who participates by defending false beliefs and sells them to friends, neighbors and the next generation. This cycle could be easily broken by teaching parenting skills based on one simple question: What do we want for our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren? What do we want to pass on for many generations? If two parents do not agree on this before they become parents, they have work to do before they become parents.
I do not speak as an expert on this matter. I have no child raising credentials to display and I made more mistakes in my 30s as a parent than I care to count. I never willingly taught lies, but all too often my sincerely held beliefs were lies that I did not hesitate to teach. Too many times I gave an answer when both of us would have been better to begin an investigation to find a probable or likely answer. I am writing my thoughts on this subject because of what I have seen and learned about the matter, over the past 40 years.
I remember a girl in my neighborhood who swore she would raise her children differently than her parents were raising her. She was pregnant and married by her 17th birthday and I was able to observe the way she raised her children. By the time the second child arrived, she was parenting on auto pilot. She was desperate and had nowhere to turn except to what she knew from her own experience. She fell back on her parents’ approach, carefully avoiding some of the old mistakes but repeating many more and adding her own new ones. She was not prepared to be a good mother. Her husband was unprepared to be a good father. I do not need to observe the grandchildren to know the cycle remains unbroken. When we see the harm done and the lost opportunities much modern parenting represents, we know there must be a better way and there may have been much better ways in the past.
Parents need to decide before they become parents, what kind of adults they want to create. That decision will come from core beliefs about life and the world in which we live. If we see life as threatening and the world as a dangerous place, we will teach this and how to defend against it. Time spent in defense is usually not growth time and is relatively uninspiring. Then how much time shall we spend teaching this? What kind of family do we want? Do we want children and grandchildren who will care for us when we are old and feeble? How do we create such offspring?
How do we see education? Do we see it as a formal activity for children between the age of four and twenty four? Or do we see it as an integrated part of life, to be tended when we have made time available for it? How much education do we want to provide before the children become adults? What are the most important things we need to teach in the first six years or the first twelve? By age eighteen? What values do we want them to learn? The answers to such questions provide us guidance.
Because we have had answers handed to us from infancy, we have grown up thinking the questions we ask are not important. Whatever it might be, someone will be there with an answer. We become dependent on the answer people. Professionals and authorities who are paid to give answers. In fact, most of us become dependent on others for all our needs and desires. We depend on an employer to earn wages to trade for much of what we can produce ourselves, if we would plan. But we don’t plan. No one told us to do that. We might plan for a house or a car but we don’t really plan our lives. Not that anyone’s life closely follows the plan we may devise. But a plan provides purpose and the lack of purpose in so many lives today is proof of a spiritually retarded society.
Every day more people are discovering there is a spiritual world that is seldom taught in churches. In fact religious answer providers have come to be seen as an elite segment of society, providing us with many wrong answers. Nothing is ever quite what it seems or what it claims for itself.
Ed Howes sought and found, knocked and entered. Now he sees things differently. To see more of what he sees, please visit http://www.justanotherview.com or do an author search here at Ezine Articles.
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If you’re a budget traveler or backpacking Europe, Lagos is a cheap slice of paradise. Casa Rosa is the place for general sustenance, while Joe’s Garage is a place to let go.
Casa Rosa
Casa Rosa claims to be the haven for backpackers in Lagos. The more you travel, the more you know such claims are rarely true. With Casa Rosa, however, I can confirm the claim is true. This hole in the wall served heaping mounds of the food of the day for really cheap prices. It was packed with backpackers, which made it a good place to meet people and exchange war stories.
I haven’t been to Portugal for four years, so I have to attach a caveat to recommending Casa Rosa. When I first visited Casa Rosa in the 1990’s, it was owned by a couple of Brits, who were apparently trying to sell it. I dropped in twice in subsequent years and they were still there and still trying to sell it. Whether this ever occurred, I can’t really say so keep in mind there may be a new owner or the place may not exist at all.
Joe’s Garage
In every town or city, there is one “underground” night spot you just have to visit. Of course, you first have to find out about it and then figure out where it is. People “in the know” typically heavily guard this information. For years, Joe’s Garage has been such a place in Lagos.
The recommend attire for Joe’s Garage is a bathing suit, t-shirt and flip flops. The place appears to have no ventilation whatsoever and is insanely hot. Turning a negative into a positive, the owners have a strong water policy. Water shoots out of the ceiling, mouths of statutes on the wall and water guns expertly aimed by bartenders. If you were glasses, just leave them at home.
Joe’s is open from around ten in the evening until the hour you stagger out. It is located on Rua Primiero de Mayo, but don’t bother writing that down. The place has so little signage that you could be standing in front and completely miss it. The best way to find it is to follow the late night crowd as they begin filing out of the bars around midnight.
Lagos is an ideal spot for budget travelers. The town is has beaches, nightlife and is cheap. Enjoy!
Rick Chapo is with www.nomadjournals.com - makers of travel journals. Writing journals are the perfect travel accessories. Visit www.nomadjournaltrips.com to read more travel articles and travelogues.
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In arguing against law of attraction as a valid principle, one of the most frequently asked questions is: “If I create my own reality, why on earth did I create this”? Sometimes it is phrased: “I can’t possibly be creating my reality because I never would have chosen this”. Everybody wonders about this. This article explains how we create.
How we create
We create the reality we experience by our thoughts and feelings. Our thoughts and feelings create a tone or a vibration that acts as a magnet which draws to us more of the experiences or events that will give us more of the same thoughts and feelings. This has to be brief here because volumes and volumes have been written on the specifics of how we do it and how to control it. Our dominant vibration draws situations of like vibration to us. Most of the time we are creating from default. We are not consciously aware of what we are thinking or believing, and we are not making conscious choices for our preferences.
The nine ways we create unconsciously are:
1. Habit
Current research in neuro-psychology says we think 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day and over 90 percent of these are the same thoughts we thought yesterday. They are often the same thoughts our parents had. We seldom examine or question the random, repeating small voice in our heads. Often it is saying things like “this is the only way to do this”, “this is just the way it is”. Or it is saying things like “this can’t happen to a person like me”, and “I’m not good enough, smart enough, lucky enough to do . . .” or “everybody knows . . .”
2. Ignorance: Not knowing I had a better choice or even any choice at all
We often don’t realize we can have a choice about things. Until we start learning about deliberate creation we often feel like we are victims of circumstance, of randomness, or of a judgmental and capricious god. None of this is true. Learning deliberate creation is empowering. We come to understand, through knowing the physics of it, that we can influence EVERYTHING in our world. And yet, we still often think, but I can’t affect my health, for instance, or but I can’t affect world events. Not true. We always have choice and we always have free will. We can affect and influence everything we experience. I don’t mean we can affect our response to it only after it has appeared in our lives, but that we can control the balance and frequency of our experience of joyful and less joyful events in our lives. Yes, it takes practice and awareness, but it can be done and it’s not too difficult to do.
3. Expectations of those around me, media conditioning, group think
How often have you heard thoughts stated like “if something can go wrong, it will”, “the change in temperature is causing everybody to catch a cold”, “because the economy is bad, jobs are hard to get now” “you’re too old - nobody your age ever did that”, “your body will deteriorate as you get older”. A friend of mine who works in the medical profession said, “all men get prostate problems as they get older”. I was horrified. I playfully punched him on the arm and reminded him not to think that way if he doesn’t want to be one of them. Advertisements, particularly on TV, and especially those by the pharmaceutical companies are powerful influencers if we believe them. They try to make you believe “everybody has . . . “, or “everybody needs . . “. Magazines, newspapers, movies and the culture we live in all perpetuate ideas they take as truth. In reality, truth can be what we define it to be for each of us.
4. Selective Observing
Observation of a state or condition brings more of the same. This is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy. We use our minds, unconsciously, to shift through our thousands of interactions to find the ones that justify our ideas, beliefs, and expectations about the world. Then we say, “See? I knew it would be this way!” If we believe all cashiers are rude, for instance, we won’t notice all the times our experiences are pleasant. But when we encounter the one who is less than friendly, we declare it to be the truth about all cashiers. We talk about how insulted we were, we tell our friends not to shop at that store and we rehash the event over and over, magnifying our feelings with each telling. This strengthens the vibration that all cashiers are rude. The next time you go shopping you will more likely gravitate past the five cashiers who are pleasant and friendly to the one who is tired and having a bad day. Even if she says nothing to you, you will be anticipating some sort of insult and will probably find it.
5. Beliefs
A belief is a habit of thought. It is a thought we keep thinking until it becomes a paradigm, a filter, through which we view and relate to the world. Like any thought, beliefs that limit us can be changed. The tricky part is in recognizing our beliefs as thoughts about a thing and not as the absolute, unchangeable truth about the thing. A lot of our beliefs are below our level of conscious awareness. “I can’t do that, I’m not skilled, talented, rich, lucky enough”. “I have to work hard to make money.” “Taxes eat up everything.” “Easy come, easy go.” “No gain without pain.” “Life is hard”. A friend of mine says she learned from her parents that, “People like us. . ” usually finished by, “always have to work hard”, “never get a break”, “don’t have the means to travel”.
Those of us who think we’re scientific use statistics to justify or ‘prove’ our beliefs. Yet, there is the quote by Mark Twain, “There are three kinds of lies: there are lies, damn lies and statistics.” We know statistics and even scientific experiments usually show only what we expect to see. In quantum physics this is called the ‘observer effect’. If we accept our beliefs without question, we create our reality from them. When we change the beliefs, we create our reality by choice and through joy.
Continued in Part 2.
Lorna maintains an international Law of Attraction Coaching practice. From time to time she has openings for new clients. If you would like some help in consciously using the law of attraction in your life with ease, visit her website: http://www.transform-u.com
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Imagine being able to steal untold millions of dollars in plain view without getting caught. Impossible you say. Be careful because you are most likely a victim of this heist. In fact, you may actually be giving these thieves referrals so that they can dupe your friends and family.
For a while I was not aware of how the scheme worked. It was after talking to someone who was in on it that I got to see the entire operation at work. I have to say it is quite an elaborate conspiracy. It involves so many people. I couldn’t believe I fell for it for so many years.
Here’s how the scheme works. You go in to a bank to open a savings account. The bank representative smiles and says pleasant things to you because you brought your money to them. With a big smile the bank representative tells you that you should be happy because you will be earning 1% on your money (if you’re lucky). Trust me when I tell you, the bank representative’s smile gets bigger after you leave. You’ll see why a little later.
You go home feeling pretty good about yourself because you have finally started working on your financial independence. Good for you! It is definitely a start. The question becomes is it what you were really looking for. Don’t get me wrong everyone should have a savings account. But a savings account by nature is not designed to make you money. In fact it won’t save your money either. That’s right you read it correctly. A savings account will not save your money instead it will help slow down your spending.
Naturally you may be asking yourself how can a savings account not save my money? Here’s the answer to this question. A bank pays you 1% interest on your savings account and the government guarantees your money. Meaning that if the bank should go out of business the government insures you that you will get your money back up to $100,000.
A further look reveals just what the bank and the government are guaranteeing you. The bank pays you 1% interest and inflation eats away your money at 3% per year. Inflation simply means that your money will buy you less than what it bought you last year with the same money. So in other words the bank and the government are guaranteeing that you will lose at least 2% of your savings a year. This figure is arrived at by the 3% you are losing to inflation and the 1% interest paid to you by the bank, which means you are only losing 2% a year. That is until you figure in the taxes you have to pay on the 1% interest the bank paid you. However, we won’t talk about the taxes in this scenario.
The bank will start sending you credit card offers. You know the offers I’m talking about. The credit card offers where you can transfer your balances for 0% interest for the first 6 months. After the 6 months is over your interest rate goes up to around 9% or more. They also offer to give you other loans for 10%-12% interest. I know you may be thinking well when the 6 months of 0% interest is up I will switch to a different offer from another company. I hope you will.
Part of the heist is banks pay you 1% interest when you give them money but they make you pay them 9%-12% when you borrow your money back. Remember the money is not the bank’s money it is your money or another member’s money. Now this part will really make you upset. Banks take your money and invest it in things such as commodities and make returns of 20%-50%. And then when you asked for it back in a loan they charge you interest. So banks can make a profit from 29%-62% on your money. When you factor in the fact that most people continue to borrow money over and over again the profits for the banks skyrocket.
After learning how the banks used my money to make themselves rich I decided to use my money to help make me rich. I now teach others how to create financial freedom for themselves.
Now that I have revealed the biggest heist in history I am tasking you with finding a way to make your money work for you instead of working for the banks. Sign up for my newsletter at www.themoneymotivator.com to learn how to put your money to work.
Much More Success,
David
© Copyright David D. Wells. This Newsletter and all contents are proprietary products. All rights reserved. You are welcome to forward the entire Newsletter to anyone interested. The entire Newsletter including this signature box must be intact.
Often referred to as The Money Motivator, David Wells is passionate about helping people “crack the wealth code” to become money magnets. Let him teach you the techniques Hillary Clinton used to turn $1,000 into $100,000 in the course of a year.
For more information visit his website at http://www.themoneymotivator.com
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